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Privilege – Is it still a Thing?

General Broadcast Warning: This post contains some material unsuitable for people who are not aware of the following: A) I am bisexual; B) I am opinionated; and c) I have a child. Right. Carry on.

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No auto-fill was harmed in the making of this screen-capture from today.

I was given this link about Google and what is being termed the ‘Bisexual Problem’ today. I must say, as I was reading it, I was struck by a couple of things.

Firstly, I find it very odd that in a world aiming for an end to discrimination of all groups of people, the black and white lines seem to have been made even more apparent.

It is a fairly constant peeve amongst those of the bisexual orientation that you’re not liked by anyone. So many people misconstrue what it means to be bisexual. The usual misconceptions that I have personally encountered are, as follows:

  1. “You’re not really bi. You just don’t know what you want.”
    Ummmm, no, I’m fairly certain I DO know what I want. I want a nice life, a happy family and someone to love and be loved by. I am just more flexible than most as to where I look for all of that.
  2. 2) “You’re just greedy.”
    Well, this may be true. You put a tub of ice cream in front of me, it’s going to disappear. However, when it comes to who is included in my life, I am very discerning. Even more so when it comes to who I let into my heart. So, no, I don’t think I am greedy.
  3. “You’re just a lesbian in denial.”
    No. Just. No. I am in denial about many things. I deny that I have uni assignments due over the horizon all the time. In the case of my sexuality, I am very certain that I have it right.
  4. “It’s okay. You’re just experimenting.”
    Again, no. I am past my wild, impetuous teens and early twenties. I have experimented and found a formula that works.
  5. “If you’re with a boy one month and a girl the next, your kid is going to grow up with one hell of a complex.”
    Before you ask, yes, I have been told this. I have no doubt they were well-meaning intentions that precipitated this, but I couldn’t help but shake my head. If I stayed with one partner for all eternity and was unhappy, surely that would set a poor example for my kid. If I was changing up my boyfriend (or girlfriend, for that matter) every month, not only would I be concerned about my mental health, but I’d be concerned for my kids. However, I am not one for changing my partner at a whim. I also like to think I keep my kid away from the details of my romantic life until it is at such a point that I feel comfortable in inviting that new person into our home. It’s called discretion and respect for my kid.

So where am I heading with all of this? The stigma held against bisexual people is NOT lowering. It is remaining constant, if not increasing. It is there from straight people and from gay, transgender and transsexual people. It is everywhere. Think about it. An actor comes out as gay, no biggie. An actor comes out as bi, and suddenly everyone has “been with” them and it’s more of a storm than if a straight person simply said, “I kissed a girl and I liked it…”

Secondly, the article struck me as strange for using the term “monosexual privilege” (while citing Shiri Eisner). I was left asking myself is “Privilege even a THING???”

See, to me, we are too busy attempting to come up with rational, NICE (read: vaguely academic) terms for all kinds of bigotry and nastiness. Privilege is just one of those all-encompassing prefixes to otherwise not-so-nice occurrence of life, namely people openly displaying their conscious or sub-conscious prejudices. Male privilege, speaking from a stand point of a male in society unaware of female issues. White middle-class female privilege, speaking from a stand point of a white female with no understanding or awareness of lower-class issues. The list goes on, and you can use for every stand point. If you say anything that might be offensive to one or more groups of people, you are speaking from a stand-point of privilege. It is simply another term for speaking from the situated self.

I guess, with all of this, I am attempting to get people to think about what it is they’re saying before it leaves their mouth. I am asking Google to show the way in actual tolerance and acceptance, by reviewing their embargo on auto-fill of “bisexual” as they said they would. It isn’t a “bug”, it’s prejudice plain and simple. You’re speaking, through your inaction, from a place of “multi-faceted, technological giant corporate” privilege… Oh goodness! Now I’m talking like one of “them”!

Queensland Government Moves to Change Surrogacy Laws.

It has been in the news for a little while, precipitating some fairly heated arguments across many a facebook and twitter account. If you haven’t heard, now that they’ve scrapped the Civil Union for same-sex couples and downgraded it to Registering a Relationship, the Queensland Government has amended the Surrogacy laws to disallow same-sex couples, those in a de facto relationship of less than two years, or a single person access to “…altruistic surrogacy…” options.

There are those in support of the move, stating it, like the removal of adoption rights for same sex couples, is for the benefit of the children that they are not brought up in unstable conditions (Shelton, 2009 & Lawson, 2008). A few sources of this side of the argument provide little more than anecdotal references to “studies”, with no real referencing to back them up. In any other kind of argument this would be laughed at passed over, yet it is allowed to continue!

De facto couples are also banned from accessing surrogacy as an option if they have been together for less than two years. There are some fears that other rights extended to de facto couples may also be next to be amended, such as inheritance rights.

Are you a single person? You’re also out of luck, with this amendment also barring you from access to non-financial surrogacy. As financial surrogacy is illegal by both old and new forms of the law, there’s no alternate route either.

If you are involved in surrogacy for one of the banned groups of people, you could face up to three years in jail.

There are some in the legal field who suggest that these changes may breach federal discrimination laws. I wonder if there is a QC who would offer pro bono services to fight this claim should it arise?

ImageThose who have acted as surrogates in the past have written to their local members of parliament (see the image to the left), saying they oppose the changes. Keeping in mind that these women do not receive payment for their services, there is no financial reward to be gained from more people having access to surrogacy. They truly believe that everyone should have the ability to bring up a child and, if they cannot do so themselves, everyone should be able to have access to assistance.

So why am I writing about this? Why does it bother me? I’m not living in Queensland, or one of the banned groups of people. I’m not currently considering being a surrogate, though I have been approached on this matter.

I am writing about this to bring attention to the incredible injustice of it all. These laws, in my opinion and the opinions of many others, fly in the face of all that those working for anti-discrimination laws have achieved. I implore each and every one of you to send a letter, email, postcard, etc to your local member (if you’re in Queensland), or to any member of Parliament or the Senate in either your own state or the federal level.